In what administrators are calling "our most successful character-building exercise yet," Hide School's annual Turkey Trott™ concluded yesterday with unprecedented levels of enthusiasm, minor injuries, and confused poultry.
The event, held along our scenic Mountain Trail of Reflection™, featured students racing live turkeys in wheelbarrows while navigating obstacles including "The Gratitude Gauntlet," "The Stuffing Sprint," and the notorious "Cranberry Crisis Corner."
"I've never felt more alive. Also, I think Turkey #7 is my new best friend. We really bonded during the uphill section."
By The Numbers
The winning team, "Gobble Gobble or Die Trying," completed the course in 14 minutes while maintaining what judges called "extraordinary levels of forced enthusiasm." Their turkey, affectionately nicknamed "Professor Feathers," has been awarded honorary student status and will attend morning assemblies for the remainder of the semester.
Headmaster's Statement: "This is exactly what Hide School is about. Building character through activities that seem absurd but are actually... well, they build character. Somehow."
Looking Ahead: The Turkey Trott™ will return next November. Student attendance remains mandatory. Turkey attendance is under review.